Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
