You don't have asthma, your pregnant
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
