I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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