i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize