how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
