Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize