Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
