wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
