hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
