Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
