If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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