i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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