Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
