i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
