Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize