dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
