Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
A+ Viking dick
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
