Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
