i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
