My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
my god I love twenty year old dicks
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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