Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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