I must be too annoying 4 u.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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