Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize