Your face is a jimmy john
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
barbara walters just said penis...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
