it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
