ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
