Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
