A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
