Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
