I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
