Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Vodka?
Forever.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
