just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
