The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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