these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
