sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Couch. On fire.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
