everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize