the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
