Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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