Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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