well most of my day revolves around power hour
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
