I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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