Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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