before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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