i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
