My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
