she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
