you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
