Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
