Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
