I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
