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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
