you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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