Sry I called you an 8
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
