Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
