If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
