I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
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