My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
