yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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