I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
