I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
