just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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