my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
