Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
