Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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