Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
